Femininity as I See it

When I was a small girl, I remember looking at different women in search of a role model. I thought that if I found her, I would know for certain what kind of woman I would like to be. Years passed. While growing up, I got acquainted with a lot of different women about whom there was something I liked. One of them was gay and talkative, another always looked great wearing designer clothes and impeccable makeup. I got to know some women who were extremely wise and others who were charming in their childlike manner. But I failed to find the one who I wanted to resemble.

Being in my late teens, I understood femininity as perfect looks. I paid so much attention to my appearance that I never left home without makeup, manicure and a proper hairdo even if it meant being late for my studies. I was very strict about my diet and there wasn’t a single kilo of excess weight on my slim body.

Then gradually my priorities changed and there came a period in my life when I preferred to look more natural. Now instead of wasting time on foolish woman’s tricks I developed my inner qualities. My lifestyle became more sedentary, I read a lot, gained some extra kilos and didn’t care about my appearance so much as before.

Becoming a mother opened a new page in my life. It suddenly occurred to me that it is small girls who possess femininity to the greatest extent. There is not one of them who is like another, each of them is unique and charming… until she has found some role models to follow.

That unexpected discovery changed me a lot. Now I don’t make it a point whether I present a perfect sight to the people I meet – I just follow my own desire and do what gives me maximum comfort. On some days I may be wearing my best clothes, make up, manicure and high heels, while on others I feel more like myself in a tracksuit and sneakers. I don’t care very much about my personal qualities any more and just allow myself to be different: laughing and talkative, gloomy and silent or even mocking and arrogant. And who would blame me if I feel like that today?

Having let it all go, I got rid of some extra kilos and, what’s more important, I began to feel a good deal happier. And I can confess I’m at last approaching the true understanding of femininity.

And how do you understand femininity?

Michi аватар

Femininity to me is being true to yourself as a woman. Happy I've always been quick to laugh (in a pleasant way) from a very young age, and people are constantly commenting on my smile and genuine deep belly laugh. One girl did come up to me once and ask me why it is that I laughed so much, with disdain. Fortunately I had colleagues pipe up and tell her, "What isn't there to laugh about? Michi just sees life as grand!" As a woman, I like to pamper myself by dressing up when I feel like it, and dressing down when I don't, and I love having girls' night with my amazing girl friends back home, whom I miss terribly. As women, and as the core of every family, we really do need to take extra care of ourselves physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.

admin Olga-ekb аватар

“Femininity is being true to yourself as a woman” – great words, Michi! And you’re right, women are the family core: when the woman is not in a mood, all the family can feel that.

chicaandaluza аватар

For me it?s about feeling good in the skin you?re in. Some days you don?t feel so great, but that?s normal - better to feel happy in your heels (sometimes) and equally happy in your sloppy clothes with hair that needs a wash. It?s more about what?s going on inside than outside. Very thought provoking and enoyable to read.

admin Olga-ekb аватар

Thank you, Tanya! Happy

Ariana@Pearl's twirl аватар

Interesting topic Olga, I felt unsecured for a long time, but now I am happy with who I am. You read about it in my blog. I read an article recently about how and what women do to feel sexy or feminine. Some were talking about nice lingere, others were talking about the right make up, and thou I agree with them, I still think it's about confidence and acceptance of who you are. Here is another link from the blogger I follow, you might find it interesting because it somewhat talks about the dame thing. http://totsymae.com/2011/06/19/in-sickness-and-in-vanity-a-womans-guide-...

admin Olga-ekb аватар

Thank you for the link, Ariana, I enjoyed the post. I agree that although makeup, clothes and other trappings of a woman are important, what really matters is how you feel.

totsymae1011 аватар

Oh honey, slap yourself on some lipstick and keep your heels at least two inches high. And never, ever, ever, wear sneakers or hair curlers in public! Happy

Olga, thank you so much for hanging out at Totsymae's. I've enjoyed finding my way around here.

admin Olga-ekb аватар

Thanks for sharing your recipe for femininity, Totsy, though I’m not sure it applies to everyone. Happy

You know, in our culture no one wears curlers in public, it is unheard of! As for sneakers, they are indispensable for a picnic in the forest or a walk on the children’s playground.

Beverley аватар

I think femininity is definitely an individual thing. That is, by embracing our individuality we embrace the feminine within us. I think when it comes down to it one should go for it!

Marina at My Busy Children аватар

I agree with you, femininity is about being true yourself and be the best to your family and everyone around you

Cameron Brooks аватар

Your quote of the week caught my attention. In 2003 I moved to Los Angeles, and a friend attended the same film school as Tarsem Singh, who directed a movie called The Cell. Vincent D'Onofrio plays the lead role - a demented serial killer.

He maintains a curious persona across TV and film, and when teaching, I admit that sometimes I try to adopt his Law and Order questioning quirks/techniques because they draw out so much information. Thanks for sharing a great quote.

admin Olga-ekb аватар

You’re welcome, Cameron. Happy

I’ll repeat the quote here:

To me the definition of true masculinity – and femininity, too – is being able to lay in your own skin comfortably. ~ Vincent D’Onofrio

Cindy Eve аватар

Lovely post Olga. I am really not sure what my definition of femininity is, as I have never really thought about it. I tend to just be who I am at whatever stage of my life I am at. Sometimes I fret about my weight or my hair or the clothes I wear and sometimes I dont. I dont have a role model but I do love Cher just because she is so outrageous. If I had to think about what denotes femininity to me I guess it would be the woman who rejoices in herself and enjoys the differences, the quirks and the uniqueness of being oneself. Sadly I think that todays little girls confuse femininity with celebrity and the pressure to be someone they are not. i say bravo to all the Cheryl Coles and Victoria Beckhams, but give me a down to earth natural woman any day and there you have true femininity.

admin Olga-ekb аватар

It’s always pleasant to meet people with such a healthy life position as yours, Cindy. Happy

plush аватар

I believe masculinity is just the same. You talk about absolute unisex issue. Finding oneself has nothing to do with a gender.

admin Olga-ekb аватар

You are absolutely right! I understand true femininity (as well as true masculinity) as realization of one’s human potential to the fullest.