Love is in the Air

Spring has come and revealed something new in people's hearts. Along with melting snow and blossoms beginning to bloom one can feel extraordinary tenderness, open-mindedness and love. Love is everywhere: in the singing of birds, in the bright blueness of the sky, in the smiles of children.

Have you uttered "I love you" this spring? Or is something holding you back? If so, Dr John Demartini's (appeared in the novie "The Secret") advice will sure come in helpful:

john-demartini.pngThe three words "I LOVE YOU" can be for some the most challenging words to say and yet also the most commonly appreciated words for people to hear.

Many people hold back on sharing their love and appreciation for others because of a fear of rejection.

I often ask my clients what they would do if they were told they only had 24 hours to live. In all, if not most cases, they say they would make sure they used their last hours to say "Thank you, I love you" to all of the people they feel contributed towards their lives.

At the core of every human being, we all just want to be loved and appreciated for who we are. So letting someone know that you love them is one of the most precious gifts you can give.

Whether Mother’s Day or Father’s Day, Valentine’s Day or Children’s Day, when it comes to those you love, find a way to share your appreciation and the truth of your heart.

When asked the best way to overcome the fear of saying "I love you", I suggest the following:

  • Write down 25 benefits to you of your sharing the words "I love you" with the person you wish to share your heart with, and then also write down 25 drawbacks to you of not sharing the words "I love you" with them. Whenever we see more benefits than drawbacks in an outcome, we take action.
  • Write down all the things you fear may occur if you say "I love you" and then take each item you listed and ask how it will benefit you if it occurs. Every situation has a balance of support and challenge and no matter what happens you will always experience both sides.
  • Write down 25 benefits to the person hearing you say you love them and 25 drawbacks for that person if you do not tell them. When you perceive more benefits to them of hearing the truth of your heart you will feel inspired to tell them you love them.

In our daily relationships we swing back and forth between like and dislike, attract and repel, yet are these not the two arms walking hand in hand as one in a balanced gait – truthfully called love.

True love is the synthesis and synchronicity of all complementary emotions – a balance between the attractive and repulsive emotional extremes. It is a pure energy that permeates our entire existence. When applied to a romantic or intimate relationship, true love emerges as you come to appreciate both the positive and negative, good and bad, happy and sad and ups and downs of a relationship. You realise that the purpose of a relationship is not only romance, joy, support and so-called happiness; it is also equally about learning, challenge, growth and personal evolution.

True love is our ultimate objective, whether we’re aware of it or not. We may think we’re looking for something else, something material and fleeting, but even the pursuit of transient goals just leads us back to the truth of love. The purpose of all relationships is to dissolve the barriers that keep us from recognising the love that already is and expressing the love we ultimately are.

Love and wisdom,
Dr John Demartini

Sometimes people don't show love because they can't feel it inside themselves. It is quite easy to notice signs of the lack of love in oneself. According to Osho, those who don't feel loved or loving easily become overconsumptive in both things and food. Find time to read his wonderful speech "Eating Love":

Osho.jpgThe more you possess, the less you can love. And love is the door. Or, the less you can love, the more you start possessing things. Things become a substitute.

Let us try to understand it. A child is born. If the mother loves him…psychoanalysts have been studying, much research has been done — if the mother loves him, the child never drinks too much milk; never, because he knows, it is a tacit understanding, that the mother is always available and she’s always ready to share. So what is the fear? If the mother loves the child, the child will drink only as much milk as is needed. If the child is loved, you will never see a big belly in the child.

The child will be proportionate. In fact the mother will be constantly worried that the child is not eating or drinking or taking as much food as needed. But the child has understood that whenever the need arises, the mother is there. He can rely on love.

But if the mother does not love the child, then he is afraid for the future. Love is not there, the tacit understanding is not there, so whenever he gets the opportunity he will eat as much as he can, he will drink as much milk as he can. Now he is already becoming a miser; he has already started accumulating things — in the body. He’s afraid. Who knows about tomorrow? This mother is not reliable; he has to accumulate for emergencies. So he will accumulate fat, eat more.

People who have not been loved in their childhood continue to eat more. No dieting can help unless love arises. They will eat; eating has become a substitute for love. If somebody loves them, they will immediately see that their overeating has stopped.

Love and food both come from the mother’s breast. The first experience of love is from the mother’s breast and the first experience of food is also from the mother’s breast. So love and food become associated. If there is less love, it has to be substituted for by more food.

If love is enough, you can afford not to eat much. There is no need. Have you watched it? Whenever you fall in deep love, hunger disappears. You don’t feel hungry. Love fulfills so deeply that you feel full. Then one starts eating less and less.

So let's try and find love inside ourselves. And share it with other people.

I love you.

Zelya аватар

My daughter doesn't eat much and she says that she is not hungry. I couldn't figure out why. Now I have at least one explanation, it's all because of my love. Happy

admin Olga-ekb аватар

Dasha also eats very little. On the other hand she has difficulty parting with things - the same as me.

shilko аватар

Olya, I finally got to reading the article named so promisingly Happy I have a bit of (10 kilos) of an overweight since my last pregnancy and still cannot get out of it. Confused Now I feel like I'm close to understanding, I should look better into what my life consists of. And it is all about since I just cannot stop eating all the time Winking
And yes, this is very much true about breastfeeding. Only I wouldnt be so judgemental about us poor mothers ('sob'). Its not always about lack of love, but lack of possibility to give as much attention as the baby needs (although of course for a baby it should be equal to no love). When I'm too absorbed in something, usually into playing with Ivan, but could be anything, then the youngest one would get me down to earth, and you could see him breastfeeding in every odd place of our tiny appartment Happy My husband would even make jokes that I'm like an African woman that would feed her baby without stopping, but just leaning down Laughing

admin Olga-ekb аватар

Olya, I can't imagine you anything but slim. Happy

I've also been thinking about Osho's words and I believe he is right. Whenever a person doesn't feel loved he/she feels hungry. To tell you the truth I haven't really thought about that but now that you said it I see that the reason why he/she doesn't feel enough love does't really matter - in fact it may be perfectly understandable, logically correct and humanistic. But feelings are feelings. They are just here and they make us feel one way or another.

That's why it is so important to do something for oneself every single day. Just a hair mask, a few pages of a book or a chat with a friend - and one already feels loved. Happy

shilko аватар

Olya, thank you for your comment! Now that I think about it, I remember in that film I once reposted on my blog describing the life of children in infant orphanage, the authors did notice the fact how the children there they just gorge food like overhungry animals, they showed this in the movie... God, I won't get off the subject for long now..

admin Olga-ekb аватар

I haven't watched that film yet - only the beginning. Though I intended to and still do.