Клуб любителей английского языка

I've always found it difficult to concentrate on here and now. Instead I tend to find myself living either in the past or in the future. Although I am well aware that multi-tasking is a myth, it's hard for me to focus on what I'm doing at the moment without thinking of my future plans or giving inner feedback on the activities I have accomplished (or, more often, haven't accomplished). One of my favourite quotations is "Take one step at a time" though I have failed to live up to it so far.

As long as I can remember myself, I've never been doing one thing at a time. When I was pretending to do my homework as a schoolgirl, I always had a book undercover so that I would be able to switch to it when my parents weren't looking. Pretending to listen to the teacher in class, I was always busy thinking about more entertaining or worrying things.

When I began to live independently of my parents, I came to believe I couldn't afford to take one step at a time because there was so much to be done: attending university classes, earning my living, walking the dog,  meeting friends, dating, looking after the flat...

Having become a mother, I grew even more demanding towards myself. Since my daughter's birth I've been teaching myself to do more than two things at a time. Washing the dishes with one hand and feeding her with the other, I was thinking about where to squeeze my dissertation and weather it was better to wash the floor or to do some scientific research after she has gone to sleep.

Well, I have defended the dissertation and my daughter has learned to eat almost without my help. But my life hasn't become either quieter or more relaxed. I've come to proudly considering myself a great master of setting new goals and always feeling stressed out about achieving them. I've tried reading books, meditating, I've even practiced some yoga to calm my spirit - nothing helped.

The day before yesterday was the day an unexpected stop was put to all that. Someone inside me shouted, "I don't want my life to be a racetrack any more. I will begin with going to bed as late as I want to and you won't blame me for getting up late tomorrow."

I went to bed at 3 a.m. and didn't blame myself the next day for sleeping till 11 a.m. Miraculously, that lazy day seemed to have more hours in it than any other. I not only had time to bake a cake, clean the flat, get rid of three bags of unnecessary things and do some ironing, but I also spent some quality time with my daughter. We read, learned some letters, painted, went out for a tricycle ride and just spoke together - all that without a single misunderstanding. While she was watching a cartoon, I spent some quality time working at the computer. My work was very productive as if an invisible hand had been guiding me and I coped with my task for the day several times as fast as usual, which left me some time to chat at blogs without feeling remorse.

As it turned out, it is not difficult at all to concentrate on the present and it is definitely more fun. Now that I have been shown the power of here and now, I dare hope it will remain with me forever.