On my way

22 June 2009

I remember that day like it happened a couple of days ago. It still aches in the deep shades of my mind to see the faces of my dear parents, giving me last goodbyes before we separated for a long time.

I was crying, my Mom too... my Dad couldn't say anything that would have told me that he is not worrying, and my best friend gave me a piece of paper telling me I should read it on the plane. I was standing there and looking through the glass feeling enormous pain, excitement and fear...fear of being on my own, fear of failing them. I waved my hand and disappeared in the mouth of the custom's room, my long trip had started with the first flight Yekaterinburg - Frankfurt.

I can't say anything else but that I've cried all the way to Europe.

Here is the thing... I went to Alaska to find an adventure! It took me about 42 hours to fly all around the Globe to finally land there.

It's all excited me from the start... polar bears in the airports, mountains of the coastal Anchorage that you can see from the window, strange people, coldness and that feeling of a tiredness and a jet lag you have after such a long trip. But despite all of that I was there, in the land of my dream, and it felt like never before. It seemed like I have been here in my nights full of dreams, like I meant to come to Alaska and experience its wild nature, gorgeous beauty and harsh rules. That didn't scare me much, by the way, the reaction I had you can see on a little puppy husky face, the same look of wonder and silliness. What else could have been expected from me? Being of a young age and a soaring eagle spirit - something one of my dear indian friends told me later. She was one of a kind, so authentic, so real... and so lonely. She looked at me and said, "You are born to fly. You have a spirit of an eagle."

Those words are still on my mind keeping me active in the days of depression, with this statement she's created a new surprising world in my head I have never known about. By the time she told me this, the images of the pink castles were completely broken to a little pieces. There was a big great hole in the place of the secret garden, and for her to tell me "You are a beautiful strong and clever bird" was to give me hope again.

Sometimes it's something you need, someone around, who can tell you that life is up to you and only you can reach for a sky if you just want it very-very much! That day I thought of her words and felt pity for myself, for those hard three years of my life that I have spent in the land of my dreams and the land of my disappointment at the same time.

admin Olga-ekb аватар

Something in your story rings familiar to me - especially the emotional part. I had about the same feelings travelling from India to Ekaterinburg. But there were two huge differences: I was returning home and it wasn't me who had taken the decision.

alaskagirl аватар

Thank you for the comment! On my opinion, it doesn't matter how do you make your decision or who does make it for you, it still hurts)

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